Ima Do What I Have To Do

Heyy Diary !

I'm going to do what I have to do and I know exactly what I have to do and because I know what I have to do, temptation knows it too.  So, I must push through, living the journey where I focus on what exactly I must do. Deep down in my soul, I know the steps I must take, but it feels hard. 

What I mean is…  I would feel so eager to go for the things I want, meanwhile I’ll feel an energy that is attempting to pull me back, keeping me stagnant. I started to have self-doubt about what I was about to do. I’m aware of the encounters I have with doubt. There are times where doubt can make sense. I guess Doubt is getting clever. I don’t know tomorrow, I only knew yesterday and is living today a second ago. I don’t know the next second, I can only predict it because life can change at any moment. What you thought wasn’t possible, can become possible in seconds. Therefore, I don’t know, so I need to push through. Push through no matter the circumstances because, in the end, it’s all a part of the journey. If I wasn’t meant to do it, I’m pretty sure something will happen to cause me not to do it. I want to stop making and finding excuses that causes me to not accomplish my goals.

I don’t want to live the same patterns anymore. I’ve outgrown them. I want a different view. I’ve realized, my body doesn’t know anything. It’s purely in its feminine energy. My body goes with the flow of what my mind tells it to do. Sometimes I do things without realizing that I’m doing it. So, is my mind the masculine energy and my body the feminine? Hmm. 

My mind can’t be me. I go back and forth with my mind all the time so, I know it’s not me. My mind is a tool that helps me maneuver through life. It channels me with thoughts of possibilities that can be my reality. My emotions and actions bring my thoughts to my reality. So deep down, I am a person beyond the mind. The person who can sense thoughts and be like no I'm not doing that or yeah I will do that.

Diary, do you see where I am going with this? It almost feels magical. 

Thoughts flow to me from all areas of my life and I am not sure exactly where these thoughts come from. I think these thoughts come from the things I experience in life. The conditions of my current/past realities I take in knowingly and unknowingly. I am certain, I am not the one creating these thoughts, but I do get to choose which thoughts come to life.

Wait a minute? Does each thought come with its own emotions? When a thought appears, do I feel the emotions connected to it and assume it is me feeling it? Are thoughts able to produce feelings? Am I the person who sees the thoughts, feels the emotions then comes in agreement by producing the action that either correlates with the thought or goes against it? Now when I go against it, what happens? A new reality out of the pattern I am used to. A new view??? 

wait wait wait……. wait a minuteeee…..

I think that’s what's happening here. I said earlier that I know what I have to do, but then I get these thoughts and feelings, pushing me away from doing what I am about to do. 

How can I rewire my thoughts to bring in new thoughts and feelings that boost my body to do what needs to be done instead of running from it? 

By being the bigger person and doing what you know deep down in your soul, you need to do. Forget the emotions because they come and go. 

I’m a girl, who probably runs through 5-8 emotions in a day. Is that why they say do it happy, do it scared, do it sad, do it with joy? In the end, these are just emotions that come to me. The actions are the things I do that affect the outcome of my reality. I can say I’m going to do xyz all I want, but if I don’t physically do it, nothing will ever happen. All I did was practice hearing my voice talk. 

Before doing what I am going to do, the action feels scary. When done, it is usually not as bad as I thought it would be. The scary part is all in my mind and when all is said and done, I say to myself, this is not bad after all. So I do it again, again and again. A new pattern has been formed, creating my new reality. 

You know the funniest thing I noticed when I kept doing it. My feelings change. I no longer feel self-doubt when doing what I have to do. Instead, I feel joy that I can do it because I love doing it. However, there are times when I love what I do, but I’ll be tired and want to take a nap. I do it anyway, I just do it tired then go to sleep afterward. The body need rest but I'll rest after the task is completed. The nap will feel 10x better.

I wonder, what causes the feelings to change? I assume it’s Darkness way of holding me back or am I just afraid of making that change? Do the emotions creep in to protect me because they know once I feel self-doubt, I won’t do it. I’ll just stick to my old patterns because that is what my body is used to doing. Is that why it’s hard to do something new in the beginning? Then once you get the hang of it, it becomes second nature. An old habit is being broken. An old habit that my body is used to is being switched out for a new habit, that my body is not accustomed to. My body goes into panic mode because it doesn't know what new thing I am teaching it is. 

I am stronger than my mind and body and know exactly what I need to do therefore, I must push through. 

What’s on the other side of pushing through?  

On the other side of pushing through is love that I found, breaking out of a pattern my body was accustomed to. Now, I have a new view and it’s so much better. My belief in challenges change. I no longer carry unnecessary fear. Challenge brings growth and growth brings new life and prosperity.

I know you know what you have to do and it’s time to do exactly what you need to do, to change the old pattern to see a different view. The view where the real you find peace and love.

What do you say? Are you going to do what you know deep down in your soul you have to do, to be a better you? 

XOXO Explozay’s Diary